Ha.

The steam-punk RPG awesomeness apparently landed each character an XP amount in the thousands... in a system where the experience points required to raise attributes, skills etc. is not that high.

Um.

Lvl 3 -> Lvl 10 in one session. HELL YEAH!



In other news, I'm doing ok. My classes are all easy, but my schedule is weird so I need to re-adjust my daily patterns somewhat. Also, my classes are all easy so I'm actually bored. Blah.

I have also contracted some form of the plague. This is the third time I've been sick in the US, but much like the previous two times... it doesn't seem to be that bad. My throat isn't happy, and I'm more sleepy than I should be, but other than that I'm fine. Perhaps the other shoe, the one filled with sneezing and general stuffiness, will drop some time tomorrow... but perhaps not. We shall see.

In other, other news, the internet has both won and failed at the same time. Yes, Aladdin fanfictions exist. Yes, they led me to discover the TV series, which is an entire world of WTF right there. Yes, there is even one fanfic with the pairing I was looking for, which is even novel length and isn't about rape... but there aren't any more. Fail, interwebs. Simply fail.

That is all. Carry on with your lives, my minions.

So, I, uh, stayed up until 4:30 AM last night.

I wish I could say it was for a 'legitimate' reason like having to work hard on homework or a project or whatever, but, uh... I was playing a steam-punk RPG with my current role-playing group.

BUT IT WAS AWESOME BEYOND BELIEF! BEYOND BELIEF, I SAY!

See, we were doing shady business after curfew in a town that was carpet bombed by terrorists just a few days before and we, uh, ran from some cops instead of trying to talk ourselves out of being thrown into jail. That one was my fault, because I play a pirate and she was with one of the guys from the party who's really really not savvy at, like, lying so she made a judgment call to nab him and run.

And then we escalated the escape into a brawl with some cops, which I then escalated to murder because when your party has a caster with bad luck with the dice and a guy who is basically this frail noble dude who's good with a sword but can't fight unarmed and me, a frigging pirate who doesn't want to be recognized by any living cop ever, you get dead cops.

And, um, I also created a distraction in the hopes of being able to escape after the brawl with the cops. That part sort of worked... except I shot a grenade into a small alley and blew it up... and every cop in a 10-mile radius came to see if it was terrorists again. We were not actually noticed, however, so uh... yay distraction?

But, then, um, we were trying to run away via the rooftops and sort of failed because there were too many jump checks we had to clear (the caster can fly, but me and the noble can't) and the cops noticed us... and that's when they sent the air-ship on us. That was a bad move on their part. My character commandeers air-ships for a living... and the caster was just insane and adrenaline happy at this point...

So the air-ship cops were basically treated to a one-man mad magical show where he and six mirror images of him were basically charging straight at the main gun of the air-ship and he got so lucky with the GM's dice rolls that he himself was not hit by any of the bullets, or the 16mm slugs from the main gun before boarding the ship. Meanwhile, I have this gun what can shoot anything, and I have a grappling hook attacked to a rope that is attached to a winching mechanism in my belt... So I batman'ed my way onto the boat at the same time and yelled "Avast! Ye're being boarded!" and the crew didn't know which one of us to be more afraid of and sort of scampered away, but we had to fight some cops with guns... and then my character lunged at the steering wheel and cops rained down and stuff and we made out escape.

So... we commandeered an air-ship. While it was flying and we were kind of not. While it had a giant gun and we are only really level 1 characters, maybe level 3 when comparing to straight D&D.

Because WE ARE AWESOME.

AND WE DIDN'T DIE.

But lots of cops did, for which my character isn't sorry... and now the two other characters in the party are all like 'so... we are going to head back into that town to finish our business there, right?' and my character is like 'WTF people, did you sort of miss out on what we just did???' but we'll see how that'll get resolved...

There was also an amusing part where the GM was like, 'So, if this was GTA, you guys just went from one star to four or five in the space of, let's see... 15 minutes?'

AWESOME.

Date:	2010-01-11 20:51
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	lonely

*sigh*

Being weird used to feel good.

Now it just makes me feel lonely.

Date:	2010-01-07 00:08
Subject:	Here we go again
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off

And just to make this clear, because this article is the pinnacle of sentiments that I've been hearing recently about that movie:

Avatar isn't about race, or about white guilt, or, for that matter, about people of color being superior morally to whiteys.

People who think it is about those things are, in fact, themselves obsessed with race and... guess what? Being obsessed with race means you're perpetuating the problem. White people aren't mean to black people. People are mean to other people they view as different. It isn't nice, it isn't a publicity bonanza and it doesn't pander to your little self-centered self-righteousness, but there it is.

To the author of the article and her cohorts:

Learn some goddamned world history before you start pointing fingers and get your head out of your ass. It's humans in general who are dipshits. White people, as otherwise privileged as you may think they are, don't hold sole custody of that there privilege.

...Jees, you'd think that every culture started with frappachinos and sky-scrapers, the way these people label anything remotely tribal as 'Indians' and 'Negros'.

Now, stop molesting that poor movie with allegories and start, oh, I don't know, enjoying life or something.

And on another, completely different not and in a vain attempt to make me feel as if maybe I am pretty after all, I give you this uninteresting bit of news:

My hair is naturally wavy. (ref)

And it covers my breasts completely when I'm naked and pull it forward.

The end.

Date:	2010-01-02 14:07
Subject:	A lolcat that makes you lol!
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

Ok, so, my ranting mood aside, this is just brilliant:

Date:	2010-01-01 21:27
Subject:	You know what, no.
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off

No, I won't shut up about it. No, I won't keep it to myself.

It pisses me off when people say Avatar is a bad movie.

I'll be the first to agree that the 'indigenous aliens' appear to be some kind of a bizarre genetic cuckoo race, since they're fully adapted to their environment but look like no other life form in it.

I'll also be the first to agree that the plot of the movie can be summed up in about one minute: "Greedy humans come to nom home and resources of indigenous, indigenous fight back, spiritual wtf happens, indigenous win. Pocahontas & Dances with Wolves, yay."

But how on earth can people possibly excuse calling a movie bad just because it doesn't have the most original plot ever? Just because the aliens aren't as alien as some would expect?

Hello, Star Trek, anyone? And, for that matter, every single romantic comedy ever to hit the silver screen?

You know what's original about Avatar? Aside from the effects and impressiveness and all that?

It's the world that Cameron built - a planet that is alive and two cultures which are going to continue to collide until Something Happens. I mean, Joan Vinge's Snow Queen won a fucking award for that premise. Cameron gave it his own spin, it's own richness, and he breathed life into it with his graphics. Can you honestly tell me you've ever been to a world like Pandora in your mind, while reading a book or whatever? I haven't. I'm not sure I'd be able to actually imagine that kind of environment, and I'm all about visualization.

And it's also the characters. Every single character in that movie was one that I could empathize with. Even Quaritch. They're the kind of characters I would enjoy role-playing. They're the kind of people I'd love to read a wiki article about. Because they all have a human element, The human element that has always made Science Fiction more than just a genre about theoretical science. The characters are what the story is about, not the struggle between the white, industrial man and the primitive, spiritual Indians.

(spoilers ahoy)

( Consider Jake Sulley... )

( Consider Neiytiri... )

( Consider Dr. Augustine... )

( Consider Parker Selfridge... )

( Consider Quaritch... )

And I can go on and on about Norm, about Max and Trudy. They're all memorable. They're all human.

Even the greatest plot in the world couldn't compensate for flat characters, but great characters can breath life and wonder into even the most banal of plots. And that's what happened in Avatar.

It's a great movie. If people can't see that, it's their damn loss.

I'm in a strange mood.

I don't really care that the year will end in about an hour (here). Yes, 2009 was a very interesting year for me and 2010 promises to be even more interesting, but I don't really feel that today is any different than, say, yesterday... or that it will be different than tomorrow.

No parties, no kisses, just me and the internet.

In fact, my 'new years resolution' is to manage to go to sleep before 4AM today. How shockingly boring.

Date:	2009-12-30 20:22
Subject:	Bah.
Security:	Public
Mood:	crazy

I am, unfortunately, slowly going insane again. That's not necessarily a bad thing, since when I'm insane I'm actually very productive, efficient and responsible.

The unfortunate part is that it is, after all, insanity and all in all I had hoped that it wouldn't resurface since the last time I had it.

I am at least comforted by the knowledge that I now know what's going on and how to handle it. Back when I first had this brand of crazy I wasn't at all aware of what was happening and, even though it was still effective in keeping me from wallowing in depression, it was scary as all hell.

Yes, my brand of insanity keeps me from becoming depressed. It's very strange, but I suppose I shouldn't complain. It's better than a lot of other types of insanities out there.

The thing that bothers me the most about this is that it's my own damn fault that it's back... because I don't really have any other mechanism to fall back on when I feel this alone. It's like an animal instinct that takes over when I feel that I need to take charge and do things, because if I won't no one else will.

And the really scary thing is that it makes me very, very amazing. It just also makes me very, very mentally inhuman... and I kind of want to maintain my humanity. It's not efficient, but it's kind of an important part of who I want to be.

I'm probably not making any sense, but I just wanted to write a post about it, even if just to have a place to vent, or to keep record of my deteriorating state, or whatever.

The sad part here is that I sort of know how to make it better, but I can't make it better with the resources I have right now. I guess I'll just have to add this to the list of difficulties I'm encountering here...

Bah.

Date:	2009-12-28 14:46
Subject:	Some updates
Security:	Public
Mood:	relaxed

On Friday I saw Avatar again. It was with friends from around here, so we nitpicked the movie. It was in a cinema which unfortunately did not up the volume enough for the experience to be as immersive as it was where I first saw it. It was still fun, and it is still an amazing film.

And really? I like the plot. I think it's just like Harry Potter - shallow and simplistic at first glance, but actually way deeper and true to human nature if you look at the characters, rather than the story. Well, with Harry Potter you have to look really hard and with Avatar you don't really, but it's the same principle.

On Saturday, cogitationitis took me out for food and shopping. We had a good time! I spent too much money on non-essentials (The Art of Avatar - gorgeous book! - and Darwinia by Wilson), and too much on essentials too (warmer hat, earmuffs, more long underwear). It did indeed make me feel less lonely :)

So the weekend was actually very nice, for my first Christmas in a foreign land.

Other updates include me being lazy, me still being unable to convince my body to shut down before 4AM or to wake up before 1PM (I need to work harder at it, it's really ridiculous), me doing more shopping for things which are unfortunately necessary and me still not unpacking.

How boring... but very relaxing.

P.S:

Being a responsible adult who has to, like, take care of stuff, like cleaning and making my own food, sucks.

That is all. Carry on.

Date:	2009-12-24 23:12
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah

And the universe continues being a strange place.

Instead of getting a B in both Calc III and in Intro. to Robotics, I only got a B for the latter. I got an actual A for the former. Don't ask me why. The teacher must have scaled the grades something fierce, because I know my average wasn't better than an 84.

My final actual Robotics grade was 82, for those who are interested. An 82, for busting my ass doing the work of 2.5 people. The worst part is that I know that if I had pushed myself a little harder and paid better attention to some things, through the haze of sleeplessness, I would have crossed the 85 line and I would have had an A.

But you live and learn. My GPA is now a paltry 3.87.

Here's to hopefully kicking ass next semester, so that my GPA won't continue to plummet.

...for my kitty!

Well, sort of. I bought Chi-Cha a collar with a tag that has her name and my phone number on it.

She's the only cat I've ever had who is ok with wearing a collar, and I'm very happy for that.

It means that, should the worst happen and one of my idiot roommates accidentally lets her out and she gets lost, that whoever finds her who isn't me will at least have my number.

Of course, I'll put a chip in her too, just in case whoever finds her doesn't give a damn, but still.

It's a nice collar. It's white and has a little bow-tie on it.

Date:	2009-12-21 22:56
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold

Snow?

Snow I can handle.

You actually get plenty warm while shoveling your vehicle out of whatever snow bank that had materialized around it during the night.

Ice?

Ice I fucking hate.

Date:	2009-12-20 22:20
Subject:	Sigh
Security:	Public
Mood:	lonely

So, I'm resting and it's wonderful... but it's also making me contemplative.

I just realized the entirety of Hanukkah just went right by me without me noticing. Considering that it's one of the very few Jewish holidays that I actually try to celebrate, I'm kind of disappointed with myself for not paying better attention. Of course, I didn't have time to actually find my menorah among my still-packed boxes and the school's Jewish club didn't send out anything about it, so the chanced of me actually being able to celebrate the thing were slim as it was, but still... I would have still known that it was going on.

And on a similar note, I wasn't lying when I said that I'll bombard people with stuff about me being alone here for Christmas. I couldn't care less about the holiday, really, but it's going to be the first time that I am going to be alone in this apartment for an extended period of time. Considering the neighborhood that I am in, if my neighbors pick up on this fact, I will have trouble.

And in truth, I miss my friends back home. Ayelet (Alon's GF), sent me ALL the episodes of Star-Trek:TNG in this giant pack of CD's and man, did that make me happy. I miss having people who think of me as something more than 'that girl who showed up some months ago and is kind of hanging out where we are'.

I also miss my family, as crazy as they all are. They were always there for me, when I needed them, and now they're very far away. I miss the support and the feeling that I am loved (even if in a weird way), regardless of what I do.

So, what I'm kind of sad about now is that Christmas, when you strip away the insane merchandising and the near fanatic 'feel happy! NOW!' sentiments and religious overtones, is about spending time with people you care about, who in turn care about you.

I won't have that this year, but I suppose I should have known that when I first landed in this alien land.

Ah, well. I'm still alive, and there are things that need to get done. Story of my life.

I AM DONE WITH THIS SEMESTER!

From spending my A term taking naps every day and generally finding the academic workload to be a bad joke, all the way to the sheer insanity that was the rough equivalent of taking twice the amount of courses that anyone else was taking, I officially deserve this blessed, beloved, magnificent winter break.

I may not get money, because I can't really work at the helpdesk this break due to my responding to the call e-mail 3 hours too late, but by the gods will I get SLEEP.

Oh, REM, I've missed you so...

And now, since 'tis the holidays and I am a Jewish, Polish girl in a faraway Christian land, I shall bombard you with angsty statements meant to make you all feel guilty about my spending Christmas all alone. Consider yourselves bombarded.

And now.

( NOW I shall wax eternal about the sheer and utter AWESOMEITUDE of Avatar, the movie with the blue people and the AWESOME. No spoilers, for serious. )

Go see it. In 3D.

Do it.

Do it now.

Your brain will have orgasms for weeks.

OMG.

OMG.

OMG.

Avatar.

In 3D.

OMMFG.

Wheeeee.....

no sleep, no sleep, lalalalala....

no idea how the robotics professors thought people would be able to condense all the information they wanted within 6-10 pages with that damnable 12pnt font and double-spacing, but hey... they'll get 20 pages, and maybe I'll get an A... I can dream...


wheeee.....

Date:	2009-12-14 21:18
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed

So... I'm just going to cry for the next 15 minutes, because once again I'm doing a shit ton of work and my team members are riding on that effort... and once again my grades for the other classes will suffer, because the sheer amount of work *required* for a reasonable grade for this stupid robotics course is just so much higher than anything any of my other classes do.

And going to the professor didn't help. They will not evaluate my work individually. The best I can hope for is for them to be forgiving if I can't pull off both a kick ass design document by 8AM tomorrow and a working robot by 8AM the day after that.

Recall that I have classes in between, and tests, and that I also have to kind of eat and kind of sleep.

And although my team members are actually doing work this time around... it's still only the mechanical work, and even that they couldn't complete on their own. One of them built 95% of the robot (I built 5% of it) and also wrote an outline and some introductory stuff about the robot, and the other one did some diagrams for forces and brainstormed the design with us. But they were supposed to do all the diagrams and all the calculations and do that write-up for the mechanical design chapter. That's one third of six chapters for this design document, one and a third if you include the introductory stuff. I'm writing the rest, and formatting it, and adding the images and diagrams.

And I'm programming the robot, and I'm doing the ECE stuff.

And the robot-builder keeps bitching about how hard she worked for this robot, and how many hours she put in 'all by herself'. Quantitatively, she spent about 15 hours on this robot in the last 2 weeks. I'm going to spend about 25 all in all, including the paper and design and everything. And this is after spending about 10-15 hours on each of the past 7 labs while she only spent about 5 hours per lab.

And I can't say anything about it to anyone other than the professors. And they just want the team to work. They just want me to find a way to reach a working product... but I can't delegate anything, because they bitch about going to fail other courses if they spend any more time on the robot.... and then they demand that we write down that we all did an equal share of the work in the design document.

You want to know what I learned from this team effort?

How a team doesn't work, because you can't herd asshats and you can't complain about them either. You either live with it and get bad grades, or you say 'fuck-it' and get bad grades. Lose-lose situation and a giant ball of hate for all.

*cries*

The only bright point in this entire mess is that at least they did try to do some stuff other than just build a robot.

And for those who were wondering, building the thing is the least time-consuming thing for this project.

Date:	2009-12-08 16:28
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed

Things... are not going so well.

My lack of sleep has finally caught up with me. It's... bad. I fall asleep all the time, and no matter how many hours of sleep I get, I'm still tired. This forces me to sleep in short spans, as I try to just let myself sleep for a few hours and then try to shove in some hours of work before I fall asleep again, every night.

My grades are no longer awesome. I am still getting A's in Physics and probably in Entrepreneurship as well, but it's becoming more and more likely that I will get a B in Calculus and in Robotics. In Calculus, because my average is an 85, and the teacher will not scale, even though the highest actual grade is 90. In Robotics, because of the situation with my team members, which has crossed all boundaries of ridiculousness. I'm reporting them, and that is final. The professors say they want to make the team 'work' or whatever. Good fucking luck, I say. You can't herd asshats.

Money... dear god, money. The university decided that my participation in the school chorus requires an $800 fee, since I am getting academic credit for it. This goes against anything that I read on the website before actually coming here. Unfortunately, even though it should be possible for me to waive this cost for this semester, I still need to participate in the chorus next semester, and that cost will not be waived.

I'm just... so, so pissed off and so, so depressed about this. Not only is my scholarship one that doesn't change, regardless of my financial situation, they keep adding more and more costs to what I want to do.

And yet... and yet...

This is where I want to be for these 4 years. I don't want to go to any other college. I want to stay here, and get the awesome degree I know I can get.

It just seems that I will once again have to move worlds to make that happen... and right now I'm too depressed to move shit.

I just wish someone would tell me how smart, talented and strong I am (preferably with examples), so that I could believe it...